#RICHIE AS A DAD
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Want to make a minor adjustment to my Steve With Much Older Siblings post from yesterday. I think itâd be a much more interesting dynamic if heâs actually their half sibling from an affair.
Their father had an affair with his secretary and then married her when she got pregnant. It broke up their family and they blamed Steve for it for years.
When they stayed over for their weekend with Dad, they were either outright cruel to him or pretended he didnât exist. When they were old enough to stop coming over, they did. Itâs only after growing up and maturing that (most of) his siblings were able to acknowledge that Steve was never at fault for their family breaking up.
They tried to mend their relationship with him, especially after realizing how absent his parents are, but by then Steve was old enough to build up his own resentment. Itâs an uphill battle.
Itâs a lot of actually coming around for holidays and a lot of teasing when they do. Itâs actually picking the phone when the hospital calls, something thatâs happening with increasing frequency.
Steve has never asked any of them for anything until one day, he shows up on Richieâs front porch smelling like death and gasoline. Heâs got blood drying all over him and is visibly shaking, and Richie thinks that heâs been hurt in the earthquake but Steve barely acknowledges the concern, âI need you to represent my friend.â
âWhat?â
âYouâre the only lawyer I know, and -â Steve takes a big shuttering breath. âTheyâll kill him, Rich. He never hurt anybody but no one will listen. Theyâll lock him up and it wonât be fair, and Dustin canât⌠I never ask you for anything but. But I needâŚâ
âEddie Munson?â He asks incredulous. âYouâre friends with Eddie Munson?â
#Eddie meeting his lawyer for the first time: This is your brother? Dick?#Richie: Rich#Eddie: Iâm sure you are#update made because I upset myself with my original post as a person who has a good relationship with their big age gap sister#I figure Steveâs got four siblings#the oldest is his sister Elizabeth who pretends his doesnât exist and never comes around#and then Richie who was named after their dad. heâs a lawyer#and then Jason who was the family fuck up until Steve came along#and then Claire who is twelve years older than Steve#sheâs a nurse#steve harrington#stranger things#Steve Has Older Siblings AU
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making the bed |carmen berzatto x reader| part one
prompt: carmen's stressed. food critics, a newborn baby, balancing work life and married life and now dad life; he's bound to break, everyone knows it. but no one ever thought he'd lash out on you.
or, part one of the devastation fic. based off this ask from the other day. two more parts to come.
contains: mega angst. mega angst, with no resolution in this part. hurt, no comfort (in this chapter, will be later in part 3). mean!carmen, very mean. mom!reader x dad!carmen with newborn teddy. fighting, language, carmen says mean stuff he doesn't mean. past mentions of trauma, family trauma, mikey mentioned. very angsty and a little heavy, please read at your own discretion. word count- 3.5k+.
"Are you ok?"
Carmen now understood why that phrase used to send Donna into such a blind rage, lips pursing and jaw clenching more and more every time he heard it. First at work, then with you, it felt never ending.
It was beginning to feel like critic season with how many were coming in, snooty and demanding to be impressed. It couldn't have come at a worst time, right in the middle of busy season with the start of the holidays. Days at The Bear were filled with frantic panic, running around, making sure everything was perfect, accounted for, and Carmen always had the sinking feeling it wasn't- that he'd forgotten something, messed something up.Â
It wasn't rare for him to work himself up like this, a normal that you always warned him about, but he'd always had a solitude. As long as he'd known you, he'd had a place to go, to unwind, to let himself rest and reset with you. And he still did, it was just shared now with a newborn.
Dorothea Michelle. Teddy, for short. The light of his life, yours too. Nearly two months old with a set of lungs that sounded much louder, much more developed than that. Nights were long, sleepless, spent trying to lull Teddy back to sleep, awake even if he wasn't up with her. Carmen couldn't allow himself the selfishness to relax, to rewind, to "take it easy" like everyone told him to. At work, he was the boss; at home, he was a dad.
"Fuck, fuck," Carmen's sleepy stare was broken by a lick of bubbling heat, the lamb's roux popping with the high heat, splashing all over Carmen's chef whites.
"Jeff, c'mon," Tina clicked, shaking her head, moving the pan to lower heat. "What're you doin'?"
Carmen grit his teeth, snatching a rag off the stainless steel counter tops, scrubbing the burgundy stain, huffing when it only spread the stain.
"What happened?" Sydney turned, looking from the burnt sauce to Carmen's stained chef shirt. "Oh,"
"Do we have a spare coat?" Carmen huffed, throwing the rag down with a firm smack against the counter.
"I don't think so, Carm." Sydney shook her head. "You took the last ones home with you two days ago. The wine-"
"-I know, Chef, I know." Carmen snapped, running a hand through his hair. "Fuck, I-I can't fuckin' serve the critics lookin' like this. With shit all over me- fuck."
"Hey, easy, easy," Richie turned the corner, his hands held up. "What's goin' on?"
"Jeff got sauce over him. He doesn't have any clean clothes." Tina muttered, irritated that she had to fix his mess, more irritated that he wasn't taking care of himself. You have a baby, Jeff, you need to rest and take some time, she'd told him. Carmen only waved her off.
"Okay, okay, hey, that's no problem." Richie's voice raised, lifting over Carmen's. "You go home and change, get your spare, check on my beautiful goddaughter, and then come back with your A game. Yes?"
Carmen didn't even humor him with a snarky remark, yanking his coat off and stomping towards the office to grab his things. Richie and Tina looked at each other, shaking their head gently.
"Kids runnin' thin, T." Richie muttered with a sigh. "He's gonna break. It's gonna be bad."
"Yeah, he is. Gonna wear himself out before then." Tina shook her head. "Jeff needs a vacation." They both jumped at the slamming of the backdoor, Carmen's angry exit shaking the foundation.
"Needs to be fuckin' medicated. Fuckin' lunatic." Richie scoffed, rolling his eyes at Carmen's dramatics.
The drive home was filled with silence, Carmen's iron grip on the wheel, tearing through the traffic towards the house- his house, his home.Â
Home, but it didn't provide the same comfort that it usually did. Carmen's shoulders still stayed tense, buzzing with rage, not dissipating when he thought of you, or of Teddy, knowing you'd both be there, excited to see him.Â
You jumped at the sound of the car door slamming, peeking out the window to see Carmen's parked next to yours, furiously stomping up the front steps. You frowned, grabbing the baby monitor, walking towards the front door.
Carmen nearly hit you with how fiercely he flung the door open. "Woah," You reached for the door, stopping it before he could flick it shut. "Carm, don't slam it. Teddy's asleep. I just got her down." You frowned at him, shutting it slowly.
Carmen looked at you but didn't speak, looking through you with a rage that had your spine tingling before he finally broke his gaze, stomping towards the laundry room. "Carm? Whatâre you doing home? Donât you have dinner soon?" You hesitated slightly, lingering in the doorway with an uncertainty you hadnât felt with Carmen before.Â
Carmen didnât answer, his jaw still ground tight while he rummaged through the clean clothes, carelessly unfolding and shifting the folded clothes.
"Carmen," You said more firmly, caching his gaze. He didn't speak still, just stared at you- through you. "Are you ok?" You lifted a brow, features softening in worry.
Carmen paused, eyes closing, shoulders tensing in agitation. Are you ok? His ears rang, a familiar rage that he hadn't felt in years bubbling up deep in his chest. Frustrated and blinding and rampant, heat rushing through his veins, pulling himself further and further from reality into someplace different- someplace darker in his mind.Â
"What's wrong?" You pressed, he could barely hear it, ears ringing at your question. "Did something happen? Did the critic come-"
"-Where's my chef whites?" Carmen barked, cutting you off, his chest tightening more and more with every heavy heave of his chest. You flinched at his tone.
"Uh, I-I haven't seen the whites. I washed your white tee-"
â-You what? Y-You what?â Carmen spat, eye widening with a wild, raged glint in his eye. Your stomach flipped and fell with fear, stepping back instinctively.Â
âI-I washed your tee, Carm, thatâs all that you left in the laundry basket-âÂ
"-Are you fucking kidding me?" Carmen boomed, his head spinning, body buzzing with rage. Your breath hitched, frozen in fear at the anger in his tone, the roar of his voice bouncing off the walls, echoing through your ears in a painful drum.Â
Carmen moved, snatching the dirty clothes basket, dumping it into the ground with a shake until the dirty chef coat fell on top. He gripped the basket, flinging it across the room with a hard throw. The final push to his bad mood that sent him right over the edge, crashing into a pit of blinding fury, aggravation, breaking him from the inside out.
"Fuck!" Carmen roared, his voice shaking the walls, your breath leaving your lungs in a trembling exhale of fear. âFuck, fuck, fuck! This is- This is- Are you fuckinâ kiddinâ me?âÂ
You tensed in shock, gripping the baby monitor in fear, maybe surprise, as it started to buzz to life with Teddy's startled whimpers. Her small cries pulled you out of your frozen state, something deeper than fear replacing the ache in your stomach.Â
"Carmen-" You gaped, voice wobbling with uncertainty, taking slow shuffled steps towards the stairs. âCarmen, calm-calm down. Ok? Calm down.âÂ
âCalm down? You want me to fuckinâ calm down?â Carmen sneered, an angry red flush blossoming in splotchy deep hues up his neck, towards his cheeks. âYou donât do shit, nothinâ that I fuckinâ ask for! Just sit around all fuckinâ day an-and Iâm supposed to calm down?âÂ
âCarmen,â Your voice wobbled, throat tight with tears, hurt and fear strangling your words. âI-You didnât ask me to wash them. I-I didnât know. They werenât in the hamper-âÂ
â-I shouldnât have to ask you to wash them!â Carmen roared, eyes so wide you thought they might pop right out of his head, neck vein protruding on exemplifying his rage. âYou know what Iâm going through! You know how much fuckinâ stress Iâm under! I go to that-that shit hole, an-and work my fuckinâ ass off so you donât have to! Then I come home, and I-I canât even get a second of peace!âÂ
âStop,â You hiss, finally regaining your composure, his words fully sinking into you now, feeling the full effect of them. âI-I just had a baby. Iâm still on maternity leave taking care of a baby- our baby, and Iâm tired too. But Iâm not yelling at you-âÂ
â-Oh, right. Right.â Carmen laughs sarcastically, humorless as he runs his hand down his face. It felt mocking, left you feeling small and too vulnerable for your liking. âBecause in between your napping an-and feeding, you couldnât stick a fucking jacket in the wash, right? Youâre so busy.â Â
âWhat is wrong with you?â You snap, hoping he canât hear the tears in your voice, the way your voice shakes with emotion.Â
âWhatâs wrong with me? Whatâs wrong with me?â Carmen scoffs, throwing his hands out. âI get no fuckin' sleep, go work my fuckin' ass off, a-and then I come home so I can go back and work my ass off some more, and-and you canât do one simple fuckinâ thing? You canât help me out? And then you wanna know whatâs wrong with me? When you sit on your ass all fuckinâ day-âÂ
Teddyâs piercing wail pulls you out of your shocked trance, nose and throat burning with hurt filled tears you refuse to shed. Instead, you turn, climbing the stairs on shaky legs, the sound of Teddyâs cries growing louder and louder. Anchovy watches you from the top of the stairs, sensing the tension, your upset, sliding against your leg as if to comfort you.Â
Carmen scoffs, hands buzzing and trembling with rage, the ringing in his ears growing louder and louder with each of your footsteps on the stairs and down the hall. He can barely hear Teddyâs sobs, hands threading through his hair, pulling at his scalp. He sees you walk towards the bedroom, quickly, hugging Teddy to your chest.Â
âOh, donât go fuckinâ do it now!â Carmen roared, your ignoring him only infuriating him further. âIt wonât be ready in time now. Iâll just look like a fuckinâ idiot for the critic tonight! Not that you care! Why would you, huh? I-I mean just our livelihood, just our fuckinâ income!âÂ
You swallowed back your tears, head tilting towards the ceiling, hands shaking with every shove of your things into the overnight bag. Just enough to get you through the night, the next day. A few essentials, Teddyâs spare onesies, a charger, your wallet- you stopped mid-shove of your items into the weekender bag, the sunâs rays catching in your wedding ring. Your heart fell, more and more, you werenât sure how that was even possible.Â
Carmenâs furious voice was still booming from downstairs, ringing and shaking in his furious fit. Richie and Sugar both warned you about Carmenâs tantrums, brought them up to embarrass him, tease him about it until he was red faced and hissing hushed threats at them. You never, never in your wildest dreams thought youâd be on the receiving end of one.Â
You jumped, another slam of something Carmen had thrown, maybe hit in a fit of rage, causing Teddy to wail louder, Anchovy skittering nervously away. Tears leaked out of your eyes, twisting the ring off your finger, setting it on Carmenâs bedside table. Pulling the carrier out of the closet, Anchovy got in much easier than usual, which you were thankful for.Â
Carmen was gripping the marble of the countertop when he heard you again, walking from the bottom of the stairs, quick steps towards the door to the garage, Teddyâs voice nearly hoarse from her crying. You kept your head high, tunnel-visioned towards your car, ignoring his heavy breathing and frantic pacing.Â
âWha-What are you doinâ?â Carmenâs voice was softer now, still with a jagged edge that was cutting and harsh. The car door opened, the baby carrier hooked into the car seat.Â
âHey, wha- what are you- whereâre you goinâ? Whatâre you doinâ?â Carmenâs heart dropped in a damning rush of hour, stumbling on heavy legs towards the garage. You ignored him, shushing Teddy gently, running a calming hand over her wet cheek, trying to coax her paci into her mouth.Â
âBaby, no-no, no. Hey, no, I-I- What-â Carmenâs chest felt tight, mind numbing and racing, stuttering nervously. You reached for your bag, his hand reaching to grab the strap. âWhe-Whereâre you-â
â-Donât touch me.â You hissed, teeth bared, eyes shining with tears. Carmen flinched, pulling his hand back like heâd touched a hot stove. âDonât you dare fucking touch me.â You sneered, pinning him with a watery glare that had his stomach turning in sickening fear.Â
âBaby, hey, w-wait-Câmon, d-donât-You donât, you donât need to do this, ok? I-Iâm sorry, Iâm sorry.â Carmen choked out the words, frantic and unsure, his hands shaking when they ghosted over you back just for a moment. Wanting to touch you, to hold you, to grab you and keep you from leaving, but too scared to. Instead, he grabbed the car door you flung open, holding it when you tried to yank it closed.Â
âLet go.â You hissed, sniffling back wet, snotty tears of fury and hurt.Â
âPlease, donât-do-donât do this. Please, baby, I-Iâm sorry.â Carmen begged, blue eyes deepening with the burning red hues of tears, bloodshot and lashes wet. âDonât-Donât do this-âÂ
â-I didnât do this.â You sneered, leaving Carmen flinching at your words. âDonât you dare try to say this was me. After how you just talked to me? The shit you said to me in there? You think Iâm going to stay?â Your voice cracked with emotion, lips pressing together to keep a cry in.Â
âNo, no, no, no, no, baby, please. Please, ju-just come inside. Come inside, please? Please, donât-âÂ
âYou donât get to talk to me like that. To say that kinda stuff to me. That hurt, Carmen. That was mean.â You glared at him, tears leaking out of the corner of his eyes. âI donât care if youâre stressed. I donât care whatâs going on- nothing, and I mean nothing, warrants you talking to me like that. Just because you fucked up, because you forgot to ask me to do it, because youâre stressed out- I donât care what it is. You donât talk to me like that, say those things when Iâve been home all day taking care of my ch- our child.â You nod back towards the sniffling baby, whimpering and crying half heartedly, her little eyelids drooping with sleep that was interrupted.Â
Carmen felt sick, his knees tightening in fear, he was sure they might give out, that he might fall to the ground right there. Looking at the tiny baby, lip jutted and shaking in the mirror hooked on the back of the seat, then back at you, eyes red-rimmed and glaring at him with a hurt filled anger.Â
âDonât-â Carmenâs chest shook, a white-knuckled grip on the door.Â
Your own hand curled around the doorâs inner handle, yanking it away from him. âMove,â You hissed, pulling again.Â
Carmen wasnât sure why he let it go, why he let you shut it, locking the door in case he tried to open it again. Why he let you pull out of the driveway, why he didnât stop you, why he didnât run after you, only taking soft shuffles down the drive like a zombie as you drove away. Standing in the drive, Carmen swallowed down the spit that pooled in his mouth, stomach churning, sure he was going to be sick.Â
He managed to trudge back to the garage, mind racing and far away, the ringing in his ears dulling but still deafening. It felt like he was in a dream- a nightmare, a hallucinating trance that felt like a sick, sick dream- Carmen was hoping it was. That heâd wake up and find you next to him asleep. That he could hug you, pull you into him, nose buried in your neck, still warm from your slumber.Â
As the sun began to sink low into the sky, minutes turning into hours that Carmen sat motionless in the garage, staring in a trancelike state, he realized that this wasnât a dream or a nightmare. No this was his reality, a horrific reality that heâd made into his own. Carmen sat, eyes trained on the concrete of the garage, voice racing and blending in his mind- his words, yours, Teddyâs cries, Natalie and Richieâs, flashbacks of his mother screaming fits.Â
He didnât move, frozen in chilling, eerie fear. What ifs and terrifying possible scenarios, consequences to his own actions that left him feeling sick, hands trembling. A spiraling of fears that only drug him deeper and deeper with every haunting replay of his outburst. Even the flashing of headlights turning into the driveway, filling the garage with light, didnât pull him from his trance.Â
âThe fuck is he- Cousin!â Richie roared, laying on the horn. Carmen didnât move, didnât acknowledge that he heard it, only stared. Richie frowned, turning the car off, throwing the door open.Â
âCousin? Carm? What-What are you doinâ? Dinner service started an hour ago. Syd is freakinâ the fuck out.â Richie threw his hands up, walking towards the man who still didnât move. Richieâs heart skipped, flashbacks of Mikey flooding into his vision, parallels of the two brothers blurring before him.Â
âYo, Carm, you-you good?â Richie stepped into the garage, his spine tingling with icy fear. It was quiet, an eerie, unsettling quiet. âCousin, hey, what-whatâs wrong?âÂ
Carmen's chest rose and fell, tighter and tighter. He was suffocating, head spinning and mind racing so fast he felt light headed. He could barely hear Richieâs voice over the noise in his head, Richieâs hand shaking his shoulder finally breaking his trance enough to meet his eyes, rounded in fear filled question.Â
âCarmen, whatâs wrong? Is it- Donât fuckinâ tell me itâs the baby. What the fuck is goinâ on-âÂ
â-She left.â Carmenâs voice shook, raspy and scared. His tongue still felt too thick, head still spinning. He wasnât even sure he said it, Richieâs widening eyes the only thing confirming that he had said it.Â
âWhat? Who-Who left? Who?â Richie looked around, like the clues might be there, sure that Carmen wasnât talking about you. No, he wouldnât- he couldnât. Not you.Â
Carmenâs breath hitched, a strangling of a sob caught in his throat, running his hand over his face. Richie didnât miss the way it trembled, shaking even as it rested over his eyes. Your car was gone, the house too quiet, no baby Teddy crying, nothing but silence was left.Â
Richieâs heartbeat crawled into a rapid, scared pace. âWhy? Wh-Why would she-â Richie looked at Carmen, eyes wide but still, reading his expression. âNo. No, Cousin, no. What-What did you do? Carmen,â Richie grabbed both his shoulders, shaking him lightly until he met his gaze. âWhat did you do?âÂ
Carmenâs face began to crack, behind his eyes, Richie could see flashbacks of something- something he didnât know what, but whatever it was, it was painful. That was evident by the fear that glossed over Carmenâs eyes, realization and horror. Carmenâs shoulders shook, frame rocking with a sob he tried to swallow, but couldnât. Deep cries, guttural sobs breaking out of his frame, heels of his hands pressed to his eyes, fingers curled and clenched around his greasy curls in agony.Â
The damning realization flooded over him, that youâd left.Â
Youâd left, youâd taken Teddy, taken Anchovy- youâd left because heâd driven you away. His angry outburst, petulant, mean, hurtful- heâd been so cruel to you. You. His wife, the love of his life, mother of his child, the one person who loved him endlessly without stipulations or boundaries, the one person who truly understood him.Â
And heâd driven you away.Â
He wished he could blame his mom, his dad, his family for fucking him up so severely, maybe Mikey, even, for leaving him the shit show that was the restaurant, making his anxieties worse and fuse shorter. But sitting in the empty garage, Richie standing above him in silent shock, his sobs and angry sniffles echoing off the cement floor, Carmen knew he had no one to blame but himself.Â
Heâd fucked up. Really fucked up. Fucked up in a way that made all the other times look obsolete.Â
Carmen had fucked up, and for once, he didnât know what to do. He couldnât avoid it, ignore it, deflect it like other times. Half hearted apologies and promises of change wouldnât work, you werenât here for him to even try to give them to you, and he didnât know where you went.Â
Carmen wasnât sure where you went, how to fix this, why heâd done what he did, and a million other things that raced through his mind. What he did know, sitting in the too quiet garage, chest stuttering with heaving cries, was that heâd do anything.Â
Anything, to get you back home. To make it right. To fix this and make it up to you.Â
He wasnât sure how, but heâd give up everything. Anything. His restaurant, his dreams, his hopes, his life, at this point, to make it up to you.Â
#thebearer#bearblahs#carmen berzatto#carmen berzatto x reader#the bear#carmy berzatto x reader#carmy berzatto#dad!carmen berzatto#dad!carmen berzatto x mom!reader#carmen berzatto angst#carmen berzatto x reader angst#dorothea âteddyâ berzatto#carmen 'carmy' berzatto#the bear fic#tina the bear#richie jerimovich#camren berzatto x female!reader#carmen berzatto x female!reader#carmen berzatto x pregnant reader#carmen berzatto x pregnant!reader#carmen berzatto x you#carmen berzatto x fem!reader angst#the bear angst#the bear fanfiction#the bear hulu#the bear fx#carmen berzatto fic#carmen berzatto fanfiction#natalie berzatto#sugar berzatto
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ruth was told how everyone was related to each other but she didn't retain that information at all so she's useless when pete asks her for help
#to me. the family tree is like:#richie & daniel - brothers#gary - richie's dad & paul's brother#boy jerry - paul & gary's cousin. daniel & richie's first cousin once removed#paul - richie's uncle#paul matthews#richie lipschitz#stopwatch#gary goldstein#boy jerry#peter spankoffski#hatchetfield#nightmare time 2#id in alt text#definitely art#honestly. i dont really like how i drew paul's hair so i'll probably change it if i draw him in the future
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Richie: Mom, Dad, I really like Eddie
Maggie: Why not, Richie, Eddie is a very nice boy
Richie: No mom, I mean, I really like Eddie
Went: We heard you the first time, sweetie. You have a homosexual attraction to Eddie
#losers club#it#it chapter 2#it stephen king#the losers club#losers club incorrect quotes#richie tozier#eddie kaspbrak#maggie tozier#wentworth tozier#tozier family#reddie#source: american dad
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đđđ đđđđđđđ§đ¨đ§đŹ
Ghostface x Reader
Headcanons of how each of the guys would be as a dad. (No Ghostface)
warnings: mentions of infertility, mentions of illness of a parent, not much else other than that, this is mostly fluff
word count: 1127
authorâs note: hiii I know it's been a while since I've written and posted. but I wanted to write a little something for father's day for our fave slahsers. I hope you enjoy!!
masterlist | add yourself to the taglist here
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á´ É´á´á´ á´á´á´Ę, Ęá´á´Ęá´á´
á´á´á´, á´Ę á´Ęá´ÉŞá´ á´Ę á´Ąá´Ęá´ á´s Ęá´á´Ęs á´É´ á´á´á´ĘĘĘ, á´á´3, á´Ąá´á´á´á´á´á´
, á´Ę á´É´Ę á´Ąá´ĘsÉŞá´á´. Ęá´á´ á´
á´ É´á´á´ Ęá´á´ á´ á´á´Ęá´ÉŞssÉŞá´É´ á´á´ á´sá´ á´Ę á´Ąá´Ęá´s ÉŞÉ´ á´ÉŞ É˘á´É´á´Ęá´á´á´Ęs á´Ę á´É´Ęá´Ęɪɴɢ á´á´ á´
á´ á´ĄÉŞá´Ę á´Ęá´ÉŞŇÉŞá´ÉŞá´Ę ÉŞÉ´á´á´ĘĘɪɢá´É´á´á´. Ęá´á´ á´á´Ę É´á´á´ á´sá´ á´Ę á´Ąá´Ęá´s á´á´ sá´ĘĘ Ňá´Ę á´s Ęá´á´Ę á´á´ĄÉ´ á´Ęá´á´á´ÉŞá´É´.
Billy:
â Billy is such a girl dad, and you canât change my mind
â you end up having twin girls, both of which look just like Billy
â they are attached to him in ways you canât explain
â your girls love you, and you love them very much, but their dad is definitely the apple of their eye
â Billy spoils the hell out of the girls growing up
â theyâre still very humble despite them getting everything they want
â you and Billy made sure to teach them values
â when theyâre teenagers, theyâre drop-dead gorgeous, which makes Billy nervous
â heâs definitely the dad who threatens the boys who date your daughters, even though you tell him to be smart
â but, knowing Billy and his past, you know for sure he would definitely kill for his girls
Stu:
â Stu is also a girl dad
â when your daughter is born, heâs a mess
â Stu has this huge smile he canât wipe off his face every time he looks at your daughter
â he takes her everywhere with him when sheâs a toddler and buys her any toy or candy she points out
â when school starts, you donât who cries harder, Stu or your daughter
â prom and graduation are also very emotional times for Stu as his daughter is now grown up
â Stu is protective of his daughter, but not so much that heâd go into a murderous rage
â but he still scared the boys in her life enough to where they never hurt her too badly
â Stu is ecstatic when your daughter gets married and has children of her own
â just as he was a cool dad, heâs now a cool grandpa
Mickey:
â Mickey has always wanted a son to teach everything to
â so when you find out your baby is a boy, Mickey is beside himself with excitement
â he has a whole list of names picked out already
â when your son is born, Mickey stares in awe at him and how much he looks like the both of you
â he has your eyes and Mickeyâs nose and smile
â Mickey is the perfect father, getting up to take care of him at night when itâs his turn
â sometimes heâll do it when itâs your turn, too, so that youâll get more rest
â and heâs just enthralled with his son and loves spending time with him
â skin-to-skin contact is Mickeyâs favorite part of your son being a baby
â when your son is old enough to do things, Mickey is over the top with getting him into sports, art, music, and so on
â he wants his son to be happy no matter what he chooses to do with his childhood and his life
Roman:
â you have both a boy and a girl a few years apart
â the girl is older and very sassy, just like her father
â the boy is very shy and to himself, also just like his father at times
â Roman loves teaching the kids about art and film
â your daughter picks up photography, much to Romanâs delight, while your son is into costumes and designing them, which also makes Roman excited
â you both decide to send the kids to an art school, and Roman is upset that he wonât see the kids as often as heâd like during their teen years
â but he knows they love what they do and need the necessary education for those subjects
â once your kids are no longer kids and have graduated university, Roman makes sure that they get good jobs in the industry in Hollywood
â watching your little family be so close and working together makes you incredibly happy
Charlie:
â Charlie was very terrified when he found out you were pregnant
â but god, does he love his son more than anything
â your son looks like Charlie spit him out, with his large, round eyes and rosy lips
â your son is just like Charlie personality wise
â but your son can be very outspoken sometimes, which can make Charlie a little mad
â however, Charlie is very patient and learns how to handle your son and his attitude
â when your son struggles in school due to attention problems, Charlie researches and does everything possible in order to help his educational needs
â when your son graduates high school, he decides to go on to college for something Charlie isnât a big fan of
â but upon seeing how skilled your son is in the career field, Charlie grows happy for him
â once your son has a family of his own, Charlie helps him a lot with raising his own son
Richie:
â at first, Richie wasnât too keen on the idea of having children
â but when you both find out youâre infertile, his attitude changes
â suddenly, he wants to do anything to make you happy, including having children, even if they arenât your biological ones
â you both decide to foster kids for a little while
â Richie is surprisingly wonderful with every kid who comes through your household
â one kid specifically holds a dear spot in your and Richieâs hearts, so you decide to adopt them permanently
â soon, you adopt a few more kids, making your family grow larger
â once all your kids have completed school and the house was empty, you realize just how much your unluckiness with fertility changed everything in your and Richieâs lives
Ethan:
â when your last living parent falls ill and is no longer able to take care of your little sibling, you have to step up and have temporary guardianship
â you and Ethan have been together for a while, but kids havenât really been brought up quite yet
â so itâs weird suddenly having the responsibility shared between both of you for a child
â but the weird dynamic quickly becomes habit and routine
â Ethan takes your sibling to school, makes breakfast and packs their lunch, helps with their homework, and just about anything you can think of
â you and Ethan discuss having children of your own once your parent gets better and has your sibling back in their household
â but when your parent doesnât get better, and it seems your sibling living with you is permanent, life throws another curveball, and you become pregnant
â so you and Ethan raise your sibling and child together very happily
â Ethan is great with kids because of his personality, and it definitely has reflected onto the kid he helped raise as well as his own child
taglist:
@bridgergf @criminalmindsfan13 @axen-gers @belovedtylerr @bonbekahsfav @jokersgrf @snazzynacho @cobra-kaii @im-a-slut-for-this-man2 @nicepeony @her-violent-delights @justacosplayerlol @chiimiki @radiant-whore @ppanemorfii @teleiophiliac @18lkpeters @vampyrgoff @roryculkinsbf @leilani788
#scream#scream headcanons#scream 1#scream 2#scream 3#scream 4#scream 5#scream 6#billy loomis#stu macher#mickey altieri#roman bridger#charlie walker#richie kirsch#ethan landry#ghostface#no ghostface#billy loomis x reader#stu macher x reader#mickey altieri x reader#roman bridger x reader#charlie walker x reader#richie kirsch x reader#ethan landry x reader#ghostface x reader#dad headcanons#floralcyanide writes
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Ebon Moss-Rachbach (and Jon Bernthal) as David "Micro" Lieberman in The Punisher (2017) and Richard "Richie" Jerimovich in The Bear (2022)
#i love ebon so much#my family watched the punisher when it first came out and Loved it so its only fitting we watch and love the bear#they really said let's get this man to play another sad dad and husband#jon bernthal#ebon moss bachrach#richie jerimovich#david lieberman#micro#david micro lieberman#the punisher#the bear fx#the bear
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Thank you for feeding us with the Steve Has Older Siblings AU. God tier level of characterization I gotta say.
How do the older siblings handle the âEddie Munson Problemâ? I would imagine they actually do try to get rid of him at first given Eddieâs reputation but then realize he treats Steve better than any of them ever have.
Well, there is cash incentive.
Richard Harrington still has aspirations of going into local politics one days and he is not going let Al Munsonâs son kill that dream. Or kill their son. Richard waves a dismissive hand in his wifeâs direction because, âOf course. Of course. Or that.â
Whoever makes that boy disappear gets five thousand dollars.
(1.)
Claire takes a direct approach. She corners Steve and tells him that Eddie is a drug dealer and a drug user. She tells him about all the scary things that showed up on his toxicology report in the hospital and Steve replied flatly with, âWow. Crazy. I had no idea.â
âIâm serious,â She says. âYou could get hurt with someone like that. Do you know how that would make us feel if something happened to you?
âI fractured my ankle at a track meet once and Dad made me walk to the car afterwards,â Steve replies. âI think you guys will be fine.â
âIâm serious.â
âYou know, Claire,â Steve nods to himself because, yeah. Sure. Letâs do it. âHow have you felt the last three years? Or, I donât know. The last two concussions? You have no idea what Iâve been dealing with for years now and â and youâve never cared so why now? Whatâs Dad giving you to ruin my life because-â
He shakes his head, âThis is not worth it. Like how picking up the phone when the mall caught on fire with me inside it wasnât worth the effort. Tell Dad you tried really hard, but no. Iâm not going to get rid of one of the few people in my life that actually like me.â
(2.)
Jason takes a different â dumber â approach. He goes in with no plan and no intentions, just took the opportunity when he saw Eddieâs van pulled off on the side of a backroad. He bangs his fist against the side and is delighted that he caught Eddie and Steve.
He threatens to beat Eddie up which is bold to say to an accused murderer in the woods, but okay.
Then he turns around and threatens Steve that heâs going to tell their dad that he was getting high in the woods if he doesnât keep away from trailer trash, but Jason is fucking idiot because they were decidedly not getting high in the woods. He leaves with an eighth of marijuana and no closer to five thousand dollars because Steve had just shrugged like, âOkay? Go ahead. Tell him.â
(3.)
Richie does not participate in this because he actually wants to improve his relationship with his little brother and he was the first person Steve went to after they got Eddie, barely breathing, to the hospital. He saw how shaken up he was and he also saw the bruising around Steveâs neck.
He knows what the bruising looks like. He knows how people gets bruises like that. And he knows that heâs a coward because he could not bring himself to ask a question he did not want the answer to. And he knows Eddie Munson.
Eddie is harmless.
All you have to do is have one conversation with the kid and youâll see that he couldn't hurt a fly. Richie, however, had many conversations with him when Harrington & Associates took his case on pro bono so he knows just how harmless Eddie is.
He also knows that Eddie spends a lot of time trying to make Steve laugh. Richie has spent enough time in his life making his brother miserable. He's not doing anymore.
#unbeknownst of the cash prize#Elizabeth is having a similar conversation with Eddie and getting similar answers#richie had to get approval from their dad before their lawyer firm could take Eddieâs case#Richard initial said no but Richie point out how really obvious it is that Steve clearly helped harbor a wanted fugitive#so they took the case#Richie canât figure out if Steve and Eddie are dating or just close friends#but he has the awful feeling that heâs going to be the first to find out and heâs prefer not to be#steve harrington#eddie munson#stranger things#Steve has older siblings au
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love me tomorrow |carmen berzatto x reader| part three
prompt: after time apart, you and carmen meet up for the first time since the fight.
or part three and the final part of the devastation fic (spoiler- the resolution haha). part one and part two can be found here :)
contains: angst. hurt with comfort (finally lol). mentions of mean!carmen, past fighting. past trauma, family trauma. carmen's been to therapy (yay). language. mom!reader x dad!carmen. fluff at the end, i had to make it a little funny and end on a light note bc it felt so heavy lol. word count- 4.7k+
âHeâs here,â Sugar announced, the chime of a doorbell following nearly cinematically.Â
Your shoulders tightened, stomach twisting with an ache of nerves you tried to swallow. You were so nervous- why were you so nervous? Heâd fucked up, not you. He was here to grovel and beg for forgiveness, not you. Still, you felt your hairline prick with heat, hands clammy when you heard the door opening downstairs.Â
âOkay,â You tried to steady your voice, exhaling slowly out of your nose. âIâm almost done.âÂ
Sugar nodded, not leaving, keeping her post behind you. âYou know you donât have to do this.â Sugar looked at you through the mirror, arms folded over her chest, watching you carefully for a sign- anything that would give her a red flag, make her call this off.Â
âI know,â You swallowed your buzzing nerves, jittery in the pit of your belly.Â
âIâll tell him to go away. You give me the word, and Iâll kick him out.â Sugar stood, pushing off the door frame and walking towards you. âSeriously. One wrong word, wrong look, anything, heâs gone. Say the word.âÂ
You gave a small smile. âI think Iâll be alright, but thank you.â You muttered, looking down at your bare ring finger. You still found yourself reaching for your ring, heart spiking in a panic when youâd see it was gone, only to sink when you remembered why- why you left it.Â
âI feel like itâs time.â You admitted, trying to convince yourself more than Natalie. You were still unsure, so jarred and hurt by the last time youâd spoken to Carmen. The things heâd said, how heâd hurt you. âI think we have to figure something out.â
âYou donât have to do anything.â Sugar gave you a pointed look. âTrust me, if this was me, Pete would never live that down- never. Heâd be at my mercy for the rest of his life, if I even let him back into it.âÂ
You knew Natalie wasnât joking, that she would do just as she said, but that was also easy for her to say; when Pete could not fathom ever thinking those things about her, let alone saying them to her. Sometimes you wished Carmen could be softer, a little more like Pete in that way.Â
âHeâs been going to therapy,â Richieâs voice played in your mind. âHeâs, uh, heâs doinâ good. Tryna get better for you, for both of you. He loves you, you know that, sweetheart. Heâs just⌠Heâs fucked up, yâknow? We all are a little, but heâs workinâ on it.âÂ
You hoped that was true. For your marriage, for your baby. Sugar and Pete had been taking Teddy to see Carmen. You couldn't bring yourself to see him yet, but depriving him of Teddy felt cruel and inhumane.Â
Downstairs, you could hear her gurgling, Carmenâs soft tone greeting her in hushed excitement. It soothed you, even for just a moment, it felt familiar- felt like home. What youâd missed so badly, what you longed for to have again.Â
âUncle Carm, why havenât you been staying here too?â MJâs tiny squeak of a voice rang up the stairs, greeting you as you quietly crept down them.Â
âMJ,â Pete muttered, shaking his head gently. âCâmon, bud, you know Uncle Carmâs been on a business trip.âÂ
âRight, yeah.â Carmen nodded, his hand patting Teddyâs back gently, soothing her and him. Just feeling the weight of her back on his chest, it put him at ease. She was bigger now, longer than he remembered, but he tried not to think about that, nose pressing into her soft tufts of hair.Â
MJ saw you first, his face falling into a pout. âAw, does that mean youâre going home?â He whined, looking at you then back at Carmen. âAre you takinâ Anchovy and Teddy?âÂ
Anchovy skittered towards you, running up the stairs at the mention of his name. Heâd been a trooper with MJ and Maggie, both kids enamored with the cat who was less than impressed with them.Â
Carmen stiffened at the sight of you, spine rigid, heart skipping and falling in his chest. There was a pause of awkward uncertainty, neither of you sure what to say. âIf youâre good,â Sugar stepped in. âMaybe your aunt and uncle will let you play with them a little longer while they go out.â She looked at you, shrugging gently at the suggestion.Â
You looked at Carmen, eyes meeting him in a brief, unsure gaze, before nodding. âYeah, that would be- that would be great, MJ.â You gave a soft smile to the boy.Â
Carmen stood, passing Teddy off to Sugar with a quiet muttering of thanks. He met you in the doorway, hand reaching for yours, but stopping himself, pulling back hesitantly. Instead, he held the door open, letting you pass by him first.Â
The car smelled like a mix of cleaning supply, masked with car fresheners heâd stuck in the vents. Heâd been smoking, more than usual, you were sure of it. Heâd gotten down to one a day after Teddy was born, paranoid that heâd give her asthma or a rash or something worse.Â
âUm,â Carmen hesitated, his voice shaking in a way that he hadnât since your first date. âI was⌠I was thinkinâ we could go somewhere t-to talk?â Carmenâs gaze met yours, lips pressing together, swallowing around the lump in his throat.Â
You nodded, your hands clasped in your lap, both of you too rigid, too uncomfortable. âYeah, thatâs a good idea.â You looked down at your nails. âWe could go get coffee? Go to the one by the restaurant.âÂ
Carmenâs heart burned with a dull ache. The coffee shop a block from The Bear had been a staple in your relationship. When youâd first moved in together, to the shitty downtown apartment to be closer to the restaurant, Carmen would go every Sunday. Sometimes heâd pick up, other times youâd come with him, sit in the corner seat side by side in a booth- like the couples you used to roll your eyes at, lovesick.Â
Someone was already sitting in that booth when you got there, so you settled for a small two seater in the back, secluded and empty. Carmen brought you your coffee without asking, he knew the order by heart now, etched into his mind permanently.Â
âThank you,â You muttered, accepting the paper cup, your eyes not meeting his, but your hands brushing. You didnât pull away this time.Â
Carmen sat across from you, a dread filled silence falling thick between the two of you. His knee bouncing under the table. âI, uh, I wanna talk first if-if thatâs good with you.â Carmenâs eyes lifted under his ball cap, pulled low on his head, curls peaking out.Â
You nodded, twisting the paper cup around on the table, too nervous to drink it. Carmen took a breath, trying to calm his racing mind. âTake a deep breath before you start. Itâs ok to take a second to get your words in order, Carmen. Collect your thoughts.â Dr. Mullinsâ words rang through his head.Â
âI wanna start by saying that Iâm sorry.â Carmen looked at you when he said it, eyes rounding in a pathetically sweet way. âI-Iâm sorry and IâŚI didnât mean anything I said. I would never- It wasnât you.âÂ
You looked down at the table, the familiar heat burning in your nose and throat, a threat of tears already. âHey,â Carmen said firmly, leaning forward. âCâmon, look at me. Please?â You look at him hesitantly, jaw clenching, trying to keep yourself from crying.Â
Carmen held your gaze, his lips pressing together in a tight line to keep his own emotions in. âIt wasnât you.â His gaze was intense but soft all at once, holding yours. âIt⌠It was all me. All of it. I-I was overwhelmed, I was stressed, I fucked up, a-and-â Carmenâs voice cracked, breaking at the end, his hand running over his face to try and calm himself.Â
You felt your own eyes well with tears, chin ducking closer into yourself, leaning towards him. You wanted to reach out, to grab his hand that rested on the table, squeeze it in comfort like you always did. Instead, you looked at him, waiting for him to continue.Â
âAnd I shouldnât have said any of that shit because-because none of it was true.â Carmen continued, his voice strained.Â
âSo whyâd you say it then?â You surprised yourself with the firmness in your tone, edging on a snap.Â
Carmen blinked, surprised but not entirely shocked. His knee bounced faster and faster under the table. He took a second, holding his breath before exhaling, trying to keep the growing tightness in his chest to a minimum.Â
âI was stressed. I was tired. I-I was overwhelmed, and⌠and I was an asshole.â Carmen admitted, but you still didnât seem convinced. You knew him better than anyone, better than Dr. Mullins, better than even Fak or Richie or Sugar.Â
âI⌠I was hurting. I was hurting an-and I was so fuckinâ angry. I donât-I donât even know why I was so angry.â Carmen admitted, nodding slowly, eyes flickering from your gaze to his hands nervously. âI just⌠I think I wanted someone to hurt like I was hurting. I just, I donât know, I wanted someone else to feel like I was, an-and I should have- it was fuckinâ stupid, an-and selfish, andâŚâÂ
Your eyes were glassy with tears you tried to hide, blinking a tear that fell down your cheek, wiping it quickly. Carmenâs chest ached, burned with hurt at the sight of you.Â
âAnd Iâve never regretted anything more in my life.â He looked at you sincerely. âI-I-I never said anything more untrue and fuckinâ stupid in my life.âÂ
âYouâŚâ You took a breath, your voice shaking with emotions. âYou really hurt my feelings, Carmen.â You admitted looking at him. He nodded, jaw flexing, neck blossoming with splotches of emotion.Â
âI just donât really understand how-how you didnât mean to say those things. I mean, clearly you-youâve thought that before.â Your voice lifted higher and higher, climbing with a cry that threatened to break. âI know youâre saying you didnât mean those things, and I get that, but my problem is youâve thought them before-âÂ
â-No, no, I swear-âÂ
â-You have, Carmen. Clearly you have. You wouldnât- You didnât just come up with that shit out of nowhere.â Your voice was beginning to climb, trying to level it out in the cafe, keeping your composure. You took a breath, pinching the bridge of your nose, pad of your thumb swiping the corner of your eye to catch a stray tear. âJust⌠Just donât lie to me.âÂ
Carmen pressed his hands together, trying hard to remember his breathing while his mind was racing. Sugar was right, it was uncomfortable, worse than he could have imagined.Â
âYouâre right,â Carmen admitted with a nod. There was no point in lying, not to you, you always knew better, knew him better. âI-I did, but not-not like that. Not,â Carmenâs breath hitched, chest tight with a wave of anxiety.Â
âYou know wh-when I was at the restaurant, and I⌠I would be ready to rip my fuckinâ hair out. Everything was just goinâ to shit, o-or weâd realize there was a critic on the books, or Iâd forgot to order some shit, Iâd be going fuckinâ crazy, ya know?â Carmen rambled, words spilling out in tumbles of jumbled truth.
 âIâd go to my office for a second, just to-just to take a fuckinâ breath, and⌠and Iâd check my phone and Iâd see a text from you.â His heart swelled at the memory. Youâd text him updates through the day, knowing heâd seen him when he could. Baby Teddy in her crib, Anchovy in the bassinet, her outfit for the day, nap time- all the moments he missed at work because you wanted him to see. You had considered him. Carmen missed it more than words could describe the past days, checking his phone out of habit, hoping to see a little OOTD with a smiley face and a wrinkly baby Teddy attached- instead, he saw nothing.Â
âIâd just⌠I donât know. I was sittinâ there, just fuckinâ stressed o-or angry, and then Iâd see that and I-Iâd feel,â Carmen paused. Gather your thoughts, gather your thoughts.Â
âI felt⌠I just felt weird about it?â Carmenâs brows pinched together, looking at you for help, unsure. Your face fell, his heart lurching with fear.Â
âNo, no, no, no. Not-Not like that. I- fuck, thatâs not what- I love the pictures. Love them. I-I- Theyâre the only things that get me through the day, it-itâs not that-â Carmen stuttered out, head dropping into his hands in defeat. Way to go, Berzatto.Â
âFelt weird?â You repeated, calm, your way of soothing him. Keeping your voice even, steady without any tones he could read into and spiral. It was second nature at this point. âWeird how?âÂ
âIt made me feel like⌠like I was, I was missinâ out.â Carmen admitted, eyes shining bright and a little wide like they always did when heâd finally admit something. Wide eyed, scared, almost, like he shouldnât have told the truth.Â
âI felt like, Iâm at work, an-and you were at home with Teddy, andâŚand I felt like I was beinâ a shitty dad. Like I was there too much, an-and Iâd miss out on her, and then Iâd miss you, Iâd justâŚâ Carmen threw his hands out lightly, cheeks puffing with a slow, shaky exhale.Â
âI was jealous, maybe? Ma-Maybe thatâs the word, but I just⌠I didnât want to be there, and I know,â He lifted his voice before you could begin to speak. âI know Iâm th-the boss, and-and I get that. And itâs not- itâs not your fault. Itâs not your fault youâre home- Iâm glad youâre home, I am, because youâre doinâ so much. You are, an-and I know that, I know. Youâre-Youâre doinâ the most important job in the fuckinâ world, I mean, youâre keepinâ ou-our baby alive.âÂ
Carmen laughed humorlessly, a scoff that turned into a sniffle, shaking his head. You sat quietly, listening to his words, taking them in with a slow nod. Carmen looked at you, trying to read you, taking in your expressions. Your shoulders less tense, tired, face neutral but he saw the way your lips twitched, holding back a cry.Â
âJust sometimes when-when Iâd be in the shit, Iâd just want to be home.â Carmen admitted. âIâd want to be home, but⌠but I knew I couldnât be. I knew I had to-to take care of things, take care of you an-and Teddy, and I donât- fuck, I donât mean it like a bad thing. I like doing it, I mean obviously I fuckinâ do, itâs just- it-itâs a lot sometimes and I get-âÂ
â-Carm,â You cut off his ramblings, reaching across the table, your hand sliding over the top of his, squeezing it gently.Â
Carmen thought his lungs might have given out, his heart too, looking down at your hand in awe. Bolts of electricity shot through his body, tingling at his skin that touched yours with excitement. Heâd missed this, missed your touch, missed you. It felt surreal, sitting here, feeling you, seeing you.Â
âIâm sorry.â Carmen whispered, turning his hand to hold yours. Hands clammy, fingernails bitten to the quick. His fingers intertwined in yours, holding your hand so tightly your fingers tingles. He held your hand like he was scared to let go, like if he did he might never get to hold your hand again.Â
âIâm sorry. It-It wasnât fair. It..Itâs not fair.â Carmen squeezed your hand, shaking his head lightly. âYou didnât⌠I donât know how to say how much you mean to me.â Carmen looked at you, eyes glassy, red rimmed with tears that gathered at his water line.Â
âI, uh, I-I tried to- Well, Richieâs thera- my therapist told me to, uh, to try an-and write out what I wanted to say to you. Take time and reflect and give it to you, but I, uh, I was up all night because I kept starting over.â Carmen rambled on.Â
âEverything I was tryna write it just⌠it didnât feel like enough. It didnât do you justice.â Carmen looked up at you, thumb brushing over your knuckle gently. âI felt like it just wasnât enough. Theyâre arenât any words to describe you. ToâŚTo describe what you mean to me, an-and how much I love you.âÂ
You swallowed back a sob, looking into his eyes. An intensity you hadnât seen since he said his vows, maybe more now. âI-I love you so much, and⌠and I donât deserve you. I donât fucking deserve you.â Carmen choked out, a sob slipping out between his confessions.Â
âI-Iâm a fuckinâ loser, an-and a psycho, and I-Iâm a shitty dad and husbandâŚAnd I-Iâm fucked up, and you-you chose to love me anyways. An-And to marry me, and have a kid with me- start a family with me. And what do I do? I fuck it up, and I donât deserve you. I never have, an-and I never will.â Carmen rambled, tears sliding down his cheeks freely, leaning towards you, shoulders stuttering with a choking of tears.
âDonât say that.â You sniffle, shaking your head. âDonât say that-âÂ
â-No, itâs true, itâs fuckinâ true-âÂ
â-No, it isnât. Carmen, donât say that.â You reach your free hand out, cupping his cheek across the table, thumb swiping over his cheek, wiping away a stray tear. You held him, feeling the heat in his cheeks, he turned into your touch, breath slowing.Â
âYouâre not a loser. Youâre not a psycho. Youâre not a bad dad, or-or a bad husband either.â You leaned forwards, closing in the gap between the two of you, the edge of the table digging into your stomach. âYou made a mistake-âÂ
â-No, thatâs-thatâs- itâs worse than that. Itâs so much fuckinâ worse than that. Donât-âÂ
â-You made a mistake.â You said, firmer this time, cradling his cheek in your hand.Â
Carmen took a breath, squeezing your hand in his, sniffing deep to keep his tears in. âI donât⌠I donât want to be like my parents.â He whispered, eyes rounding in a scared way. âI-I donât want to fuck up you o-or Teddy or⌠I just donât wanna end up like them. I wanna be different.âÂ
âYouâre not gonna end up like them.â You shook your head softly.Â
âNo, I-I was actinâ just like them.â Carmen muttered. âYellinâ at you a-and actinâ like a complete fuckinâ lunatic. Just like them, an-and I donât wanna live like that.âÂ
âYou wonât.â You reassured him gently, whispering across the table. He shook his head in protest. âCarm, listen to me. Youâre⌠Youâre not like them, ok?âÂ
You could feel Carmen start to shake, a trembling through his system that was a tell-tale sign of a panic attack. Your eyes scanned over the restaurant, filling up with the mid-afternoon rush. âCome on,â You nodded towards the door, pushing your chair back, hand still in his. âLetâs get some air.âÂ
Carmen didnât argue, he wouldnât- couldnât even if he wanted to. Your hand in his, squeezing his gently, pulling him towards the car. Carmen pulled the keys out with shaky hands, unlocking the door. He reached for the passenger door, but you pulled the back door open instead, surprising him when you slipped in the backseat, nodding at him to follow you. You squeezed into the middle, Teddyâs car seat pressed to your back, Carmen pressed into your side, shutting the door.
âYouâre not like them.â You broke the silence, turning yourself towards him. âYouâre not.âÂ
Carmen leaned his head back against the seat, tears leaking out of his eyes. âYou-You donât have to do this, say that.â He shook his head. âI donât deserve it.âÂ
âCarmen, youâre not like your parents.â You reached for his hand again. âThe fact that youâre scared to be like them, scared and trying to stop it, that shows me youâre not like them.âÂ
Carmenâs chest stuttered, a hissing of a cry leaving his lungs. âYou made a mistake.â You swallowed, your own heart aching. âBut⌠But that doesnât mean youâre as a whole a bad person. It just means you made a mistake, and if you learn from it and become better, then itâs ok. Itâs a lesson learned.âÂ
Carmen nodded, eyes squeezing shut, tight like he was trying to keep everything in. âI justâŚI really fucking miss you.â Carmen admitted through a wobbly voice, eyes still closed. âI-I really miss you, and⌠and I want you to come home.âÂ
You shook your head, tears sliding down your cheeks. âI miss you too.â You whispered, squeezing his hand. âI missed you so much.âÂ
Carmen turned, arms wrapping around your body, pulling you tightly into him. His nose pressed into the top of your head, breathing in detergent that didnât smell like what you used at home, shampoo, too. You held onto him, fingers digging into his shoulders, pushing him further and further into you until it felt like your bodies were meshing together, fusing into one.Â
Whispered apologies shared through teary, wet sniffles filled the space. Carmenâs nose rubbing against yours, hesitating before he kissed you. You pulled him into you, finally soothing the aching longing that had built in your chest, your lips catching his, the two of you staying unmoving, wanting to feel the other. Clinging to each other, hands grabbing, lips parting, Carmen pressing you against the car seat, hand cradled on the back of your head.Â
âI-I understand if you still donât wanna come home.â Carmen muttered, breath hot over your cheek, nose rubbing against your skin. âBut I really fuckinâ miss you.âÂ
âI miss you too.â You muttered, lips buzzing against his neck, tears hot and trickling onto the collar of his t-shirt. âI-I want to come home.âÂ
âA-Are you sure?â Carmenâs eyes lit up with hope, though he tried to hide it, the way he always did; too scared to let him get too excited, too hopeful because he always feared it would end.Â
âYeah,â You whispered, nodding gently, balling the back of his shirt between your fingers.Â
âYeah?â Carmen repeated, lips pressing together to keep his cry in, a different one this time. One of relief. For the first time in days, he felt like he could breathe, like his lungs werenât constricting and on the brink of collapse. His mind didnât race and cloud with delirious confusion. No, here and now, holding you, Carmen had clarity.Â
The both of you stayed in the back of the car, holding the other, chest to chest until your heartbeat became the same, steady rhythm, matching the others.Â
Carmen held your hand on the drive back, pressing wet kisses to your knuckles, trying to wipe his eyes of any tears. âCanât let Pete see me cryinâ again.â He muttered. âThat was a new fuckinâ low.â You had giggled softly, enough to have his heart fluttering. Heâd never admit it out loud, not now, anyways, that he was thankful for Pete. How heâd taken care of you, of Teddy, of Anchovy. Heâd stuck up for you, even if it was against Carmen, and that meant the world to Carmen.Â
Pulling into Sugar and Peteâs house, Carmen shoved the gear shift into park, his hand still in yours, both of you sitting in each other's company for a minute longer. Just a little bit longer the two of you, before you had to face the others.Â
âOh, uh, one more thing.â Carmenâs thumb ran over your knuckles before he let go of your hand for a moment, raising up in the seat to dig into the front pocket of his jeans.Â
âI, uh, I brought your rings back.â Carmenâs voice dropped, a shake in his words that matched the shake in his hands, pinching your wedding band and ring in between his fingers.Â
You swallowed at the sight, Carmen holding the ring between his fingers, it took you back to years before when heâd proposed. Nearly as nervous as he was now, just as shaky, but for a different reason.Â
âYou donât have to put them on or anything. I donât- Iâm not tryna make you do that, itâs your choice, obviously. I just,â Carmen took a breath, looking at you. âI thought you might want them back.âÂ
You paused for a moment, looking at the rings, the sting of the last time you saw them still burning and aching in your chest, but this time, it wasnât as crushing. It was more of a dull ache, a tiredness that came with it instead of devastation.Â
Reaching out, your fingertips tickled his palms, gathering the two rings in your hand. You looked at them, turning them over in your hands. âThank you,â You mumbled, looking up at Carmen. He swallowed, giving a nod, trying to mask the hurt that you hadnât put them back on- you didnât miss it.Â
âDo-â Your voice caught in your throat. âWill you put them back on?â You blinked at him, wide eyed, asking so sweet, Carmen thought his heart might give out entirely.Â
You held the rings out towards him. âWill you put them back on for me? Please?âÂ
Carmen didnât deserve you. The notion rang loud over and over in his head again, throat burning, welling up with tears. He didnât deserve you. You were too good, too fuckinâ good for him.Â
His hands trembled, holding yours and slipping the rings back onto your ring finger, back to their rightful place. Carmen twisted them, a deep breath of a sob that was threatening to break filling the space. His fingers intertwined with yours, free hand cupping your jaw, pulling you into a kiss over the console.Â
Sugar looked out the window, peeking through the blinds. âWhatâre they doinâ out there?â Pete whispered behind her, like the two of you might hear them. âDo they look happy? Sad? You donât think it went bad, do you? I mean, Carmen can be-âÂ
â-Pete,â Sugar snapped with a soft huff. âLook for yourself.â She moved, biting back a small grin.Â
Pete slid in her place, pushing the blinds apart, sneakily looking out the side of them. He could see the two of you in the car, Carmenâs hands on the back of your head, holding you while you leaned across the console in a deep, passionate kiss.Â
âWell, lookie there.â Pete grinned, letting the blinds fall. âI guess there was a happy ending after all.âÂ
Sugar rolled her eyes, lips twitching in a small smile. âHe still has a lot to make up for. I hope she didnât let him off the hook too easily.â She grumbled, crossing her arms. âBut I am glad they made up. I would kill Carmen if he fucked things up with my favorite sister-in-law.âÂ
Pete let out a small laugh, looking out the window again. âThe kids are gonna miss Teddy and Anchovy when they go back. MJâs gonna be devastated theyâre taking them.â Pete muttered, Sugar nodded.Â
Pete paused for a moment, looking behind him with a soft frown. âYâknow, this is gonna sound crazy, Nat, but Iâll be kinda glad when Anchovy is gone.â Pete admitted in a hushed tone, like Anchovy might hear him.Â
Sugar snorted lightly. âYeah. Except MJ and Maggie will be begging for a cat of their own. Theyâve already started and I told them-âÂ
â-No, I mean,â Pete turned, watching the orange cat slink around at the top of the stairs, Anchovy glaring down at Pete before disappearing to the guest room. âI donât think that cat likes me.â
#thebearer#bearblahs#carmen berzatto#carmen berzatto x reader#the bear#carmy berzatto x reader#carmy berzatto#dad!carmen berzatto#dad!carmen berzatto x mom!reader#carmen berzatto x reader angst#carmen berzatto angst#dorothea âteddyâ berzatto#anchovy berzatto#natalie berzatto#sugar berzatto#pete the bear#richie jerimovich#carmen 'carmy' berzatto#carmen berzatto âx fem!reader#carmen berzatto x female!reader#carmen berzatto x pregnant reader#carmen berzatto x pregnant!reader#carmy fluff#carmy berzatto fluff#carmen berzatto fluff#the bear fic#carmen berzatto fic#carmen berzatto x you#carmy the bear#carmy x reader
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mike & richie listen to music together. btw. if you even care.
#im definitely Not wording this the way i probably want to but#they are Music buddies 2 me#richie comes over 2 mikes & they put on a record & they talk & its one of mikes dads old records in my heart#like!! idk!#theo.txt#it#richie tozier#mike hanlon
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paul matthews, linda monroe, and karen chasity are all siblings actually they told me themselves
#they have a third unnamed sister who is richieâs mom (along w/ gary being richieâs dad)#theyre consuming me#we know linda changed her name when she got married and iâm sure karen did too#richieâs mom probably did too when she married gary#and lipschitz is garyâs actual last name but goldstein sounds better for business/advertising reasons#i donât have an explanation for paul#i figure heâs probably the youngest (he and karen are twins) and maybe he changed his last name to not be associated with roman?#or to not be associated/asked about his momâs disappearance after she was honey queen#bc i canât remember if it was canon or not if lindaâs mom was honey queen but she is now#but yeah all of them but linda are very estranged from roman/the murrays and even linda is getting to that point#jaceâs ramblings#starkid#hatchetfield#hatchetverse#npmd#nerdy prudes must die#the guy who didn't like musicals#tgwdlm#black friday#black friday starkid#nightmare time#nightmare time 2#nmt2#paul matthews#linda monroe#karen chasity#richie lipschitz#gary goldstein#roman murray#honey queen
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Yooo happy autism awareness month to me, my dad, Mike Wheeler, Will Byers, Jonathan Byers, Eddie Munson, Jane Hopper, Dustin Henderson, Joyce Byers, Murray Bauman, Jim Hopper, Robin Buckley, Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier, Evelyn Katz, Ziggy Katz, Fraser Wilson, Stanley Barber, Viktor Hargreeves, Five Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves, Klaus Hargreeves, Luther Hargreeves, and every other autistic person!!!
#aidenâs silly stuff with his dad#mike wheeler#will byers#eddie munson#dustin henderson#jonathan byers#eleven hopper#autism#autistic#autism awareness month#joyce byers#murray bauman#jim hopper#robin buckley#eddie kaspbrak#richie tozier#stanley barber#ziggy katz#evelyn katz#fraser wilson#viktor hargreeves#five hargreeves#klaus hargreeves#luther hargreeves#diego hargreeves#autistic klaus hargreeves#autistic diego hargreeves#autistic eddie munson#autistic five hargreeves#autistic luther hargreeves
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wanna know ur opinion on this... do u think richie would like to be woken up with head?!?
mdni smut under the cut, tw for reader calling richie dad lol sorry <3
i think he thinks, aside from deep inside your guts, it is exactly where he belongs. i think he thinks the warm and wet softness of your gums, of your throat constricting around him, is his bliss. i think there would be no better way for a grumpy old man, who wakes up with aches and pains and his hand itching for his first cigarette, than for him to feel worshipped by his baby. your sweet little tired face resting on his hip while his whole cock is in your mouth? he could just die. he could. right then and there and he'd be happy.
he wants to devour you, wants to thrust his hips and fuck your face with reckless abandon, but the look in your eyes is too much. he doesn't want to ruin you. he lets you suckle at the tip, twirl your tongue around it, find the slit and hollow your cheeks around it like a lollipop. you take time with it. and when he cums it's slow, and you swallow it all with a smile, angling your head to place a few chaste kisses to his balls, lower down his thighs, making a path back up to his hipbone, sinking your teeth into the jut of it and giggling when he squeals from above you.
you sidle up and lay your head on his chest and his hand comes to pet your hair back away from your face. in the sweetest, smallest voice, you look up at him through your lashes and ask, "did i do good, dad?"
and his whole world spins on its axis to think you might not know how much he loves you. so he tells you. kisses all over your face and says "baby, baby, baby, you did perfect."
#sorry i made this emotional??? hes my dad i love him#answered#e talks#richie jerimovich x reader#richie jerimovich#richie jerimovich x you#richie jerimovich smut
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Hey! Little add-on to the Steve Has Older Siblings AU that Iâm apparently cultivating in this post and this post, but not going to actually write.
1. Steveâs oldest sister, Elizabeth, has not talked to the family since before Steve was born because his mom is a year older than her. They went to school together. They used to be friends.
2. The first of Steveâs siblings that try to mend their relationship with him is his brother Richie. Steve thinks heâs only trying now because his wife got full custody of their kids in the divorce and moved to Colorado. He has no interest in being anybodyâs substitute kid.
3. Jason tried to drown Steve in the pool once. At least thatâs how Steve remembers it. Jason remembers it differently. Very differently.
4. His sister, Claire, is secretly his favorite sibling but she did nearly overdose him on childrenâs Tylenol when he was a baby.
5 The first time Steve met Tommyâs brothers they were so (averagely) nice to him that he cried so hard Mrs H called his mom to pick him up.
#now imagine if I actually just wrote the fic? imagine if I wrote anything at all#so i figure the age gap between Steve and his siblings are#Elizabeth: 18 years#Richie: 15#Jason: 14#and Claire: 12#which makes Steveâs mom 19 when she has him and his dad: a creep#steve harrington#stranger things#Steve Has Older Siblings AU
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in your eyes, the man that i could be |carmen berzatto x reader| part two
prompt: after carmen finds out you're staying at pete and sugar's house, he goes to try and talk to you. he's faced with his furious sister and harsh truths instead.
or part two of the devastation fic lol that is based off this ask from the other day <3
contains: angst! angst! this one is very much so more carmen focused bc let's be real... he's the problem in this one lol. still hurt with no comfort but more this one than last one?? mentions to past trauma, family trauma. sugar clears carmen in this one. slight mean carmen still, slight angry carmen still. language. dad!carmen x mom!reader. no resolution but the make up is in the next and final part! still heavy so read at your own discretion! word count- 4.8k+
Fak twisted his hands, nervously watching Carmen pace back and forth furiously. One hand running through his hair, tangled and matted from the continued motion; the other lifting and pulling the cigarette to and from his lips. Fak wasnât sure how Carmen wasnât sick yet. Heâd never seen him smoke so much, seen anyone smoke so much.Â
âNeil, Iâm not fuckinâ playinâ anymore, ok? Youâre startinâ to really, really fuckinâ piss me off.â Carmenâs jaw ground tight, voice starting to growl with that gravelly warning shake that had Fak flinching. âYou better tell me where you put my fuckinâ car keys, alright? I-Iâm not sitting here, ok? Iâm not gonna sit around wi-with my fuckinâ thumb up my ass like a jagoff while my wife and kid are a-at fuckinâ Sugar and Peteâs!âÂ
âCarmy,â Fak tried to keep his voice calm and firm, like Sugar and Richie had coached him to, hyping him up before he entered the house. âI canât give you your keys right now, becaus-âÂ
â-Oh, fuck you! Fuck you! Who the fuck do you think you are, huh?â Carmen roared, teeth bared and eyes narrowed.Â
Fak didnât think heâd ever say it, but he missed the sad Carmen from before. When heâd been sent to check on Carmen and Richie, to find out where the hell they were before Sydney had a meltdown in the kitchen, only to find a nearly hyperventilating Carmen and an unsure and frantic Richie trying to calm him. Fak had known Carmen a long time, his whole life, really, and never once had he seen him so⌠so sad.Â
That sadness was long gone now. In its wake, an anger, worse than before, than heâd ever seen or could have imagined. Fak had just tried to comfort Carmen, offer up some encouragement that you and Teddy and Anchovy were all ok, taken care of- at Pete and Sugarâs. He didnât realize how that would flip the switch, how it would infuriate Carmen.Â
âI-Iâm Fak.â Fak blinked, nervously. âYou know me. Iâm your friend, Carm, and I-Iâm just trying to help you-âÂ
â-Youâre trying to help me? Youâre trying to fuckinâ help me by keepinâ me away from my wife?â Carmenâs voice boomed, shaking the walls of the house.Â
Even in his loud rage, the house seemed too quiet, too still. There was no baby TV show on, no hum of the diffusers, or Anchovyâs small purrs and chirps. Carmen missed him, missed him jumping on the counters just to piss him off. He missed you defending him, missed how Anchovy would startle and run anytime Teddy would gurgle or whine.Â
God, he missed Teddy. He spent the first night in the nursery, sitting in the rocking chair, staring blankly ahead, wishing he had the small screaming bundle to rock to sleep.Â
Carmen couldnât bring himself to go into the bedroom. Not again. Not after he found your ring laying there. Heâd scared Richie so badly with his cries that Richie had enforced the âMikey Prevention Planâ, his twisted humor of a way at keeping Carmen from being alone, from hurting himself in his misery.Â
âCarm, I-I canât.â Fak stuttered, looking at the door, begging Richie or anyone, really, to walk through the door. âYou know I canât.âÂ
âThis is fucked up, Neil. You know that? You know how fucked up this is? Keepinâ me from-from Teddy? From my kid?â Carmen took a long drag of the cigarette, smoke blowing out of his nose with his panicked breathing. His hands still shook, everything was still shaky and rattling with uneasiness inside him.Â
âCarm, I- Donât say that.â Fak shook his head, he could feel himself caving. Carmen could too.Â
âYouâre keepinâ me from her, Fak. You know that? You know you-youâre keepinâ me from my daughter? My baby? Donât you-you know how fucked up that is?â Carmen shook his head, lips pursing in disgust. âYouâre lettinâ Richie boss you around like he always does, an-and you know, you know deep down that this is wrong. Keepinâ me from them is wrong.âÂ
Fak hesitated, a nervous sweat breaking out on the back of his neck. âRichie said-âÂ
â-Richie can get fucked. Ric-Richie doesnât know shit! He doesnât know shit, you know he doesnât know shit, a-and youâre lettinâ him tell you what to do? Richie?â Carmen scoffed, throwing his hands out. âThe fuck does Richie know, huh? H-Heâs divorced, an-an-and barely sees his kid-âÂ
â-Hey!-â Fakâs eyes widened in shock. âCarmen, you donât-âÂ
â-Is that what you want? You want me to end up alone?â Carmenâs eyes are wild, crazed, but he goes still. âY-You want me to end up like-like Richie? Li-Li-Like that?âÂ
Fak swallows, both standing in the thick, tension filled silence. âCarmen, I-I canât.â Fak shook his head slowly. âI donât⌠I think you need to, I donât know, I think you need to calm down before you go see them.âÂ
âCalm down, youâre tellinâ me to calm down.â Carmen snarled, bitterly scoffing at Fak. âFuck you. Alright? Fuck you. I will never forgive you for this shit. You hear me? You-You doinâ this to me, keepinâ me from my family. Iâll never fuckinâ forgive you.âÂ
Fak flinched, Carmenâs words cutting brutally through him with a bitter sting. Carmen stormed off, the front door slamming with a force that sent vibrations through the house. Fak was surprised it didnât split the wood in two. Walking towards the front window, he saw Carmen storming off, furiously lighting another cigarette, running a hand through his hair, again. Fak assumed he was out of Spirits, that heâd smoked through another pack, walking to the corner store to get more. After thirty minutes, he called Richie, frantic that heâd let Carmen loose.Â
âWhat part of Mikey Prevention Plan donât you fuckinâ understand?â Richie sneered over the phone, trying to keep his voice low so the new hires didnât hear. As far as they were concerned, Carmen was on a vacation, only the OGs knew the truth.Â
âI-I didnât mean to! I swear!â Fakâs voice lilted high, a shrill of nerves that had Richieâs eyes pinching in annoyance. âI thought he was going to the corner store to get more cigarettes, an-and then he didnât come back for a while-âÂ
â-Whatâs a while?â Richie muttered, catching Tinaâs eye through the glass. She set her rag down quickly, walking towards him.Â
âI dunno⌠Fifteen, thirty minutes?â Fak mumbled. âMaybe closer to an hour now. B-But then I went to look for him, and he wasnât there, so I asked the guy working and he said he hadnât seen him, and-and now Iâm driving around trying to find him. I-Iâm shouting his name out the window and everything!âÂ
âHeâs not a dog, Neil, he wonât-â Richie huffed, pinching the bridge of his nose. âI know where heâs at.âÂ
âYou do?â Fak perked up.Â
âYeah, I mean, no, but I-Iâm pretty sure I know where heâs at since you fuckinâ told him where they were stayinâ.â Richie rolled his eyes bitterly. âJust- Come over here and get me, alright? Let me call Pete- God, you and this fuckinâ kid, got me callinâ Pete. Youâre killinâ me Neil Jeff.âÂ
Richie hung up the phone with a huff, looking up at Tina. âWhatâs goinâ on? Jeff alright? Whatâs he doinâ?â She pressed.Â
âYeah, Fak-Fak fuckinâ lost him.â Richie rubbed his forehead in exasperation. âBut, I think I know where heâs at. Have a pretty good idea, anyways.âÂ
Tina eyed Richie carefully. âRichie, you know I love that kid, you know I do. But if heâs fuckinâ with Mama,â Tina shook her head, lips pursing in fury. It was no secret how taken she was to you, even before the affectionate nickname that came with the pregnancy.Â
âHeâs not,â Richie shook his head. âHeâs stupid, hot headed, a fuckinâ baby- all that. But⌠Câmon, T, you and I both know he loves her. He wouldnât do anything to them. Do somethinâ to himself before that.âÂ
Tina paused but nodded, face softening. âSo, you know where heâs at then? You donât⌠You donât think heâs gonnaâŚâ She couldnât bring herself to say it, looking at the picture of Mikey with Richie, Tina, Ebra, and Marcus only a few months before he passed. Carmen had placed it at the front, a reminder of the legacy that was there before him, of The Beef and his brother.Â
âNo, I hope not.â Richie muttered, looking at his phoneâs screen with dread, Peteâs contact on the screen gleaming back at him nearly mockingly. âI think I know where he is.â He sighed, pressing the button.Â
Pete could feel his phone buzzing in his pants, ignoring it as he held the front door in a white knuckled grip. He hadnât expected to see Carmen there, on his Ring camera, knocking on the door softly, softer than he expected given his manic looking state.Â
âH-Hey, Carm,â Pete closed the door as casually as he could, only leaving a sliver open. âWhat, uh, whatâs up, man?âÂ
âHey, Pete,â Carmen could barely meet his gaze, suddenly overly aware of how disheveled he must have looked.Â
âUh, what-what brings you by?â Pete stuttered, heart picking up when he heard the soft thump behind him, Anchovy lurking behind his legs curiously. He gripped the door, shuffling his legs together, trying to close it on his frame so Anchovy wouldnât slip by.Â
âCâmon,â Carmen sighed, a tired look in his eye, too exhausted to even be pleading. âYou know why Iâm here, alright. I-I know theyâre here.âÂ
âW-Who is? Sugar? Yeah, she-sheâs off today.â Pete stiffened at the claim, swallowing nervously, trying to play it cool. Anchovy meowed loudly behind him, cringing when he was given away by the cat.Â
âPete, donât-â Carmen pinched the bridge of his nose, breathing in slowly, trying to calm the tears that threatened to fall. He could hear Anchovy, hear the sounds of the house- the home. Soft child shows, the hum of the dryer, all the things that made the house feel alive. Carmen would give anything to have his home sound like that again, the silence was beginning to drive him crazy.Â
âWhere is she?â Carmen looks up, his gaze much harder than before, a frantic look beginning to take over his sadness.Â
âI, uh, I-I donât-â Pete stutters, fingers tapping on the wood of the door anxiously.Â
â-Pete, I really donât want you to fuck with me right now, alright?â Carmen takes a deep breath, trying to swallow back his emotions that were already beginning to climb in his throat again. âI need to- I-I need to see her, Pete.â Carmen couldnât bring himself to say your name, sure even the first syllable would have him in tears, breaking down on the front porch.Â
Another meow, louder than before, came before Pete could answer. The soft scratching of Anchovyâs paws on the door, a demanding meow that Carmen knew all too well. Heâd learned to drown it out, or try to. It became nearly a soundtrack to your sex life when youâd first gotten the cat, locking him out of the room so you two could fuck, only for him to yowl and scratch and demand to be let in. Carmen could remember how youâd giggle, pouting at him exaggeratedly to let him in. His heart fell with an ache that was warm yet still made him feel sick.Â
Pete looked down at the cat, then back at Carmen, a hesitant grimace on his face. âCarm⌠You-You know I would,â He started. Carmenâs heart soared with hope, eyes wide, a near adrenaline rush of excitement shooting through his system. âButâŚYou know I canât.âÂ
Carmenâs heart crashed, shattered with the hope heâd finally begun to find, to feel again. âWhat the fuc- Pete, thatâs⌠Pete, câmon. Câmon. Yo-You gotta let me in. Let me in.â Anger surged through Carmenâs chest. He closed his eyes tight and tried to swallow it down. All heâd been is angry. For weeks now, it had been a never ending cycle of anger and sickness and distraught, all amplified to new heights the second you left.Â
Carmen could feel himself spiraling, ears starting to ring again, rushing and roaring flashbacks flooding into his mind. Your face when you left, Teddyâs cries, the criticâs pursed lips, Sydneyâs disappointed face when he forgot something again, Tinaâs eyes cutting. Carmen turned, shaking his hand lightly, trying to do a breathing exercise he saw on YouTube, years ago when heâd moved to New York.Â
His breaths were deep, shaky, but deep enough that it cleared his head, dulled the ringing. His mind wandered back, Richieâs voice ringing in his head. âYou wanna get her back? Quit actinâ like a goddam baby. Quit actinâ like this isnât your own fuckinâ fault. Like you didnât do this shit to yourself, Cousin. Take some fuckinâ accountability, grow the fuck up, and get your motherfuckinâ shit together, alright? And maybe-maybe youâll get your family back.â Richieâs voice rang clear through his mind from a few nights ago, when Carmen was especially mean and awful.Â
âHey, uh, you alright?â Pete hesitated, leaning towards Carmen, his grip on the door loosening.Â
Carmen took a deep breath, running a hand over his face before he turned back towards Pete, eyes shining with tears that threatened to fall. âPete, please? Please?â Carmen begged, voice soft, cracking at the end. âPlease, jus-just let me see her? L-Let me talk to her? Just- Let me tell her tha-that Iâm sorry. Please⌠I need to tell her I-Iâm sorry. Donât-âÂ
â-Carmen?â Sugar gaped, her voice coming from behind Pete. She pulled the door open, shocked gaze dropping into furious, jaw setting in a near snarl. âWhat the fuck are you doing here?â She hissed.Â
âWhy do you think Iâm here, Natalie? Huh?â Carmen snapped in anger, rolling his eyes in annoyance.Â
âOh, youâve got a lot of fucking nerve showing up here.â Natalie snapped back, pulling the door open and stepping out on the porch. She stood in front of her younger brother, arms crossed in a standoff.Â
âPete, go inside.â Sugar sneered, her gaze not moving from Carmenâs. She felt like they were children again, having a staring contest to see who got the last piece of gum from Donnaâs purse, only this time, it was for worse.Â
âNat, I-âÂ
â-I got it.â Natalie said firmly. Pete didnât argue with her, simply nodding, shutting the door softly behind them. Her eyes held Carmenâs gaze, both of them intense, furious at the other for other reasons.Â
âYou should be ashamed of yourself-âÂ
â-I am-âÂ
â-Mortified.â Sugar sneered, giving him a disgusted shake of her head. Carmen shifted, biting his own tongue to keep it from lashing out at her. âDo you know what I came home to the other night? You want me to tell you?-âÂ
â-No, I know-âÂ
â-No, Iâm going to tell you.â Natalie snapped. âI came home after a very long shift because our head chef decided to, oh, I donât know- disappear and go on a psychotic rampage apparently.â Natalie scoffed sarcastically.Â
âAnd I walk through the door, ready for bed. Maybe a glass of wine, maybe a bath, maybe to finally catch up on my shows with my husband; and you know what I found instead?â Sugar took a step towards Carmen, intimidating him with her harsh glare. âI find my husband taking care of your baby because your wife is sobbing-âÂ
â-Donât-âÂ
â-No, no. I mean, sobbing. A total broken mess on my kitchen table, because she said you,â Sugar jabbed a finger at Carmen. âDecided to come home and scream at her. Not only scream, but say some of the most volatile, disgusting things Iâve ever fucking heard in my life to your wife, the mother of your very much so still a newborn baby.âÂ
Carmen felt the familiar wave of nausea wash over him, swallowing back spit that pooled in his mouth with a cry that threatened to fall from his chest. He couldnât bring himself to speak, to look at her gaze anymore. It felt too judgemental, left him feeling too vulnerable and sick of himself under it.Â
âSo let me ask first; What the fuck is the matter with you?â Natalie sneered.Â
âI donât know.â Carmenâs voice was tight, jaw tighter, fighting a tremble that was threatening to break. âI-I donât⌠I donât fuckinâ know. I-I didnât- I didnât mean it-â A single tear fell, slipping out of the corner of his eyes, sliding down his cheek- the final crack in his demeanor.Â
Carmen tried to fight it, deep breaths that burned his lungs and nose to control the tears, keep him from breaking here on his sisterâs porch, but they wouldnât stop. Carmen wasnât sure how he had any tears left, after crying for days on end, how he hadnât shriveled up his tear ducts. Yet here he was, broken sobs slipping out again.Â
Sugar didnât move. Arms still crossed over her chest, lips still fixed in a hard line, watching Carmen with intensity as he broke down, tears flowing in front of her. She didnât comfort him, not that he expected her to. She didnât try to give him words of encouragement, advice on how to right the wrongs like the others did. Instead, she kept a furious gaze on him, unmoved by the tears.Â
âPlease,â Carmen sniffed hard, running the back of his hand over his nose. âPlease, Sugar, please. Ju-Just let me see Teddy. Let me se-ee her. Donât-Donât do this to me. Donât ke-ep my kid away from me-âÂ
â-Me?â Sugar scoffed, pushing her hand into her chest. âOh, no. No, no, no, no. Donât you even start that shit, Carm. Iâm not keeping your kid away from you, letâs make that clear.âÂ
Carmenâs breath hitched when she stepped towards him, toe to toe with him, teeth bared in a grit of anger. âI didnât take your kid away. You know who did? Hm? You.â Natalie snapped, Carmen flinched at the cruelty of her words. âYou did this, Carmen. You did every last bit of this. This is on you. No one else but you.âÂ
Carmen held in a cry that threatened to break out, face crumbling with tears. He rubbed his hand over his face, trying to soothe the burn and hide his distraught. âAnd you know something else? I know you donât remember dad very well, but I do, ok? And lately, youâve been acting just like him.â Sugarâs tone clipped, leaving a burning sting in Carmenâs chest at her words.Â
âYelling just because shit didnât go your way? Do you know part of the reason momâs so fucked up? Why everyone takes her side all the time and babies her? Uncle Jimmy and Uncle Lee? Itâs because dad used to berate her, scream at her so badly- say some of the worst shit in the world because he was stressed out, that those guys would feel bad for her.â Sugar ranted. âAnd I promise you- promise you if I told Uncle Jimmy right now what you said, how I found your wife, heâd agree with me. Maybe even worse.âÂ
Carmen shifted, his heart squeezing in fear now. Jimmy loved you, always had. He held a special soft spot in his heart for you. Worse was probably right, and truthfully, Carmen would accept it- he deserved it. It wouldnât be as bad as how he felt right now.Â
Natalie held Carmenâs gaze, letting her words sink in. She lifted his hand when he started to talk. âI donât-I really donât want to hear it, ok?â Natalie shook her head. âAnd before you start trying to come up with some excuse-âÂ
â-I-Iâm not-âÂ
â- I want you to know something. To hear it and really listen to it.â Natalie paused, waiting until his eyes met hers to continue. âI know youâve been through a lot- Weâve been through a lot. But that doesnât mean you get to just treat people like shit. That you can act like this and itâs ok.âÂ
âI know that.â Carmenâs jaw was tight, strangled words croaking out.Â
âThen act like it.â Natalie snapped. âItâs not easy, none of this is easy, Carm. I mean⌠Do you know that every day- every single day, I wake up and something happens thatâs shitty or rough, and I think about how easy it would be just to grab a bottle of wine or two. Drink myself unconscious like mom does. Just how easy that would be, how nice it would be just to drown myself out instead of face the issues.âÂ
âThereâs days when MJ or Maggie or-or Pete just drive me fuckinâ nuts, and I want to pull my hair out, or scream, or Pete will do something that just pushes me right over the edge and I just want to rage.â Natalie continued, arms waving dramatically. âI want to throw in the towel, take the easy way out, rage, drink myself silly, scream at all of them until I feel better, but you know what? You know what I donât do? I donât do that.âÂ
Natalie crossed her arms, taking a breath to steady herself. âI donât do that to them because I know how that feels.â Her voice cracked, just barely, enough to show the emotion that was hiding underneath. âI know how that felt. I know how that made me feel.âÂ
Carmen could feel his eyes brimming with tears again, too emotional to be embarrassed. Donnaâs many red faced, slurred screaming tyrades came back to his mind. How heâd hide, try and stay quiet and invisible to avoid them. Even as he got older.Â
âI know how that fucked me up. How it fucked them up. How it fucked you up, an-and Mikey up. I mean- how itâŚit fucked our whole life up!â Sugar laughed humorlessly, throwing her hands up in mock defeat. âI just⌠When I think about that, and about how it just ruined all of us. Thatâs the last thing, the very last thing, Iâd ever want to do to my kids, to Pete, t-to anyone, really.âÂ
Carmen nodded, too overwhelmed with emotions to speak. His throat burned, scratchy and sore from screaming and crying. His chest was tight, constricting his lungs, stealing his breath. He was on the verge of an anxiety attack, maybe something worse, yet, he felt eerily calm in the moment. Still even under the shame and hurt her words brought. He sat on the porch, sure his knees would give out soon, head spinning and dizzy with this damning realization.Â
 âYou need to make up your mind. Make a decision, right here, right now.â Sugar continued behind him. Though he couldnât see her, he knew her face was stoic to hide the hurt, hide the emotions. A classic Berzatto deflection trait. âYou need to decide what youâre going to do to be better for your family. If youâre going to continue to be a selfish, piece of shit, or if youâre going to change; be better.âÂ
Carmenâs shoulders shuddered with his next breath, deep but not intentional; like he didnât even know he did it. Too dazed and deep in thought, staring blankly ahead. âI can tell you,â Sugar stepped towards the door. âItâs not comfortable. Itâs not easy. It is so hard some days. You have to fight for it every day, fight to break shit that was drilled into you, fight to recognize that some things you do, you donât even mean to. It takes a lot of work, but⌠Iâd rather fight every single day to be better, to be kinder and softer and more understanding for my family, than to not have them at all.âÂ
Carmen couldnât stop thinking of you. How you were so naturally nurturing and sweet. Youâd always been like that. You were loving and gentle freely. Youâd always been so patient with him. It almost made him feel insecure, inferior, when he thought of it before, but now, he just wanted to return the favor.Â
âYou decide what you want to do, and then maybe- maybe youâll get to see them again.â Sugar turned the door knob, pushing it open. âBut today? Not a chance. Go get yourself together before you try and do this again.â Carmen flinched at the door slamming behind her, harder than he thought it would. Still, he didnât move from his spot on the porch, head in his hands, deep in thought about his future, his past, everything.Â
âThere he is!â Fakâs voice was muffled through the car window, slowly pulling to a stop in Sugar and Peteâs driveway.Â
Carmen looked up slowly, taking a slow, grounding exhale in, just as Richie and Fak climbed out of the car. âCousin, thank fuckinâ- You better be glad heâs here.â Richie glared at Fak.Â
âI am!â Fak chirped defensively.Â
Carmen stood slowly, turning one last time to look at the front door. He couldnât see through the small privacy glass on the door, but he swore he could hear you- hear your voice. Soft and hushed, a little cautious mixing with Sugarâs reassuring one. It took everything in him not to turn and bust the door down, run inside and throw himself at your feet, begging for forgiveness.Â
He knew that time would come.Â
Instead, he walked to the car, sliding in the backseat, ignoring the confused looks Richie and Fak gave each other. âSo, uh, did you-âÂ
â-Donât ask that.â Richie cut off Fak with a bark of annoyance. âWhatâs the matter with you?âÂ
âNothing! I just- I thought we all wanted to know-âÂ
â-Hey, Cousin,â Carmen muttered, staring blankly at the house. Richie hummed, turning to Carmen carefully. âWhatâs, uh⌠You-You said you had someone for me to talk to?âÂ
âYeah,â Richie nodded slowly. âThe therapist?âÂ
Carmen paused, swallowing slowly. âYouâŚYou think sheâd see me now?âÂ
âRight now?â Richie lifted a brow. Carmen nodded slowly, still looking past him, eyes glued on the house. He swore he could see a figure move- your figure, peeking through the blinds before ducking back into the shadows. âYeah, Iâm sure she will. I can⌠I can call her. See what I can do.âÂ
âThanks.â Carmen twisted his wedding band gently, the car jolting gently as Fak started to back out.Â
Fak turned around, looking from the back window to Carmen with a hesitant grimace. âYou ok?â He asked, his voice dropped to a low hush with Richie on the phone beside him.Â
âNo,â Carmen admitted, shoulders slumping in defeat. âNo, I-Iâm not, but⌠I wanna be.â Carmen looked at Fak, eyes glassy with emotion. âI gotta get my shit together. Gotta do better f-for my family.âÂ
Fak nodded slowly, pulling out onto the road, slowly shifting the gears back into place. The car began to roll, Carmen watching Sugar and Peteâs house disappear in the rearview. His heart tore, ripped right down the middle and split at the seams knowing he was leaving you, Teddy- his family behind. It took everything, every ounce of strength not to turn around, not to run back. It hurt, but he realized, this is what Sugar was talking about.Â
So, Carmen went to the other side of town, to the small building where Richieâs therapist was. His counselor heâd started seeing a while back, when he was on his purpose journey.Â
It was weird, weirder than Al-Anon. Carmen felt entirely too vulnerable sitting in that chair, having her stare at him and only him, nodding as he told his âstoryâ- it felt weird to call it that. He didnât want it to be his story, his defining qualities. No, Carmen wanted a new story, a better one with you and Teddy and his family. Heâd told Dr. Mullins that.Â
âI think thatâs a great start, Carmen.â She nodded, giving him a soft smile. âSo, tell me how youâd do that.âÂ
Carmen scoffed lightly, looking down at his hands. âI, uh, I donât really know.â He admitted. âKinda thought thatâs what you were for.âÂ
âYouâre right. Iâm here to help you reach that goal, maintain it.â She nodded. âBut in order to do that, I need to know a little more.âÂ
âLike what?â Carmen muttered. âI donât really remember my dad and all the bad shi-stuff heâd do.âÂ
âYou said you didnât want that to define you, so letâs not talk about that.â She shook her head softly. âLetâs focus on what you want. What kind of life youâd want to live with your family.âÂ
Carmenâs knee bounced, taking a shaky breath. âI⌠I donât want to lose control.â He admitted. âI donât want t-to scream, and say shit I donât mean, and-and to take it out on people who donât deserve it.â He looked up at her. âI donât want to do that again.âÂ
âGood.â Dr. Mullins nodded slowly. âLetâs start there.âÂ
#thebearer#bearblahs#carmen berzatto#carmen berzatto x reader#the bear#carmy berzatto x reader#carmy berzatto#dad!carmen berzatto#dad!carmen berzatto x mom!reader#dorothea âteddyâ berzatto#carmen berzatto x reader angst#carmen berzatto angst#carmen berzatto âx fem!reader#carmen berzatto x female!reader#pete the bear#neil fak#richie jerimovich#natalie berzatto#sugar berzatto#carmen 'carmy' berzatto#carmen berzatto imagine#carmy the bear#carmy x reader#carmen berzatto x pregnant reader#carmen berzatto x pregnant!reader#carmen berzatto x you#jimmy the bear#the bear fanfiction#carmen berzatto fic#the bear fic
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richie's death hits so much harder when you headcanon max and richie as childhood best friends who grew apart bc max's dad is an asshole
#im actually so sad over them#they were best friends your honor#but max's dad was an asshole and like OH MY GOD IM BREAKING DOWN#npmd#starkid npmd#npmd richie#nerdy prudes must die#nerdy prudes#starkid#team starkid#max jagerman#richie lipschitz
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Pete Spankoffski and Richie Lipschitz are soo Jeremy Heere and Michael Mell
#starkid#hatchetfield#npmd#nerdy prudes must die#be more chill#peter spankoffski#pete spankoffski#richie lipschitz#richard lipschitz#jeremy heere#michael mell#I rewatched the 1st half of npmd with my dad tonight. We're gonna finish it tomorrow. He's been waking up early so although he likes it he#got tired#I also watched several performances of two player game and Micheal in the bathroom today
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